Feel gross about Networking? You're not alone.
Tips to improve the effectiveness of your Networking efforts (and actually enjoy it!)
Networking is a dirty word. Literally.
In a controlled experiment from the Harvard Business Review, 306 adults from various organisations were asked to write about times when they engaged in networking for professional development or in social networking to make friends.
They were then asked to complete the following word fragments:
W__ H
SH__ER
S__P
The results?
Those who recalled social networking wrote:
WISH
SHAKER
STEP
Those who recalled professional networking?
WASH
SHOWER
SOAP
They didn’t just feel dislike or discomfort with professional networking, they had a deeper feeling of “moral contamination”.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk…
All joking aside, these studies highlight an all too common problem for lots of people.
Networking feels wrong. It feels like we’re playing teachers pet or being fake.
So why do it?
Networking is important because it increases your visibility, improves access to job opportunities, and creates relationships.
Your network is a source of helpful information, feedback, and advice.
Here’s some numbers for those more data-driven:
89% of Hiring Managers said that referrals were an important part of the hiring process (via Robertson College).
73% of LinkedIn users reported being hired due to an introduction from their network (via Robertson College).
Over 50% of jobs are not published on publicly available job search sites (via CNBC).
You get it. It’s important.
How do you feel better about it? Let’s dive in.
Relationship Mindset vs. Transactional Mindset
The ‘ick’ around networking comes from the idea that it’s purely a self-centred and self-aggrandising activity.
It definitely can be, if the person is only focused on what they can get out of the interaction; a new job, a connection to a company, a chance at a promotion etc.
This is (in my opinion) a fundamental flaw in how to build a strong community and network. Instead, your focus should be on long-term relationships, learning and helping.
As Kingsley Aikins of DiasporaMatters.com described in an Irish Times article:
“If you go in with a scorecard that you have done something for someone and now are owed, you will quickly gain a reputation as someone who is always out for themselves.
If, on the other hand, you have a reputation for being helpful, nice and trustworthy, you will benefit from it.
To use a cliché: what goes around comes around. Or call it karma, if you will. We tend to think of ‘capital’ in financial terms, but we need to also consider social capital.”
Feeling like you don’t have much to offer people right now? Remember:
You offer gratitude, recognition and enhance their reputation by simply asking for their advice.
Mentors like helping people (see the benefits of reverse mentoring).
More junior folks are generally closer to new trends in culture, technology and potentially new markets.
Focus on the Collective vs. the Personal.
One of the big issues with Networking is the feeling of being selfish.
As well as focusing on developing long-term relationships, it’s helpful to focus on the collective benefits of networking vs. purely personal ones.
A study of 165 lawyers from a big law firm in the US found that those who focused on the collective benefits of making connections (i.e. supporting the company, helping their clients etc.) rather than on personal ones felt more authentic and less dirty while networking, were more likely to network and garnered more business as a result of their networking efforts.
This has been so impactful for me in my own networking journey, shifting my focus from a “self-promotion” mindset to more holistic “supporting my family”, “helping my clients” or simply learning something new.
Ask Questions and Listen.
My Dad always told me growing up..
“You’ve two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you talk.”
- Seamus Cassidy
It could have been his way of getting me to shut the f- up, but I’ve found myself coming back to this advice on a daily basis.
Networking starts to become really enjoyable when you realise that it’s not about selling yourself. It’s about making a connection, learning something new and helping people.
The best way to do this… you guessed it! Ask questions and listen.
Specifically, asking motivation questions is a great way to open up the conversation:
Why did you start your business?
Why did you decide to join this company?
What attracted you to this role?
And my favourite question; “what are you working on right now, and how can I help?”
Set Clear Goals.
For those of us more introverted in nature, having a plan and setting some goals for your networking can be a life-saver. Even if you are very extroverted and love meeting new people, having a plan to focus your efforts is important.
After I got impacted by lay offs last year, I set some really simple goals for myself to keep me motivated to network, (my 5-5-5 framework):
Reach out to 5 new people each week.
These are people I didn’t have a connection to (yet), but are in roles, companies or industries that I am interested to learn more about.
Reach out to 5 existing connections each week for a catch up chat.
Friends or former colleagues that I haven’t spoken to in a while to catch up, check in and see if there is anything I can do help them.
Engage with 5 pieces of content in my network each week.
Like, comment, share, repost etc.) with content from my network as another way to nurture my community.
Goals are also important when prepping for conversations or networking events.
Researching the person (or people) you will be meeting, any common areas of interest or areas you are interested to learn more will facilitate a more meaningful and engaging chat for both of you.
In his Ted Talk The Power of Meaningful Networking, Andrew Griffiths explains how he has been able to navigate networking in a way that is enjoyable, impactful and fun.
And Finally…
Remember networking is something that gets easier the more you do it. If you;
Focus on meaningful, long term relationships rather than short term transactions.
Focus on the collective benefit of networking versus how you personally benefit from it.
Listen more than you speak.
Have a plan.
You will be a master networker before you know it - and you won’t have to sell your soul in the process (I promise).